New Beginnings
by bugsandroses
Summary: Yet another post Always story. Kudos to AM he left just enough blank to make us want to fill those blanks. I've changed the coding from T to M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Rick Castle couldn't sit still, he tried and failed to read or watch movies. He tried to get drunk, tried to do anything but replay over and over his last conversation with Kate. The writer in him immediately edited that thought. No, it was not his last conversation with her...it couldn't be. He could not accept the thought of losing Kate Beckett. For nearly four years, almost everything he did was about her, helping her, being there for her. No matter how many times Kate pushed him away...lied to him or hurt him; he loved her. "God help me, I still love her." Rick just could not find the switch to turn his feelings off and he had tried. He still cared, even after last night when he walked out on her. Kate decided that closing her mother's case was more important than him...more important than a chance for a life together.

Rick finally told Kate about his "secret". He glanced at the screen in his study. It held every piece of information he found about the death of Johanna Beckett. The screen represented a year of work by him and countless private investigators he hired. Her mother's case had cost him a lot of money and many sleepless nights...it had also cost him the life of a friend, Roy Montgomery. Rick closed his eyes, reliving the moment at Roy's funeral when he also nearly lost Kate. He remembered the flash of light, the sound of the shot; her blood...it was everywhere. As he held Kate in his arms waiting for the ambulance, Rick told Kate that he loved her but she didn't or couldn't respond. His mind recalled the endless ride to the hospital, as everyone else fought for Kate's life but he could only watch helplessly. Later in the hospital, Kate said she couldn't remember anything after the bullet hit her but he discovered later that was just another lie. Did she care for him at all?

Rick had his answer now. He reached again for a drink remembering the pain of those three long months alone as she healed, waiting for Kate to call him. She said she needed space, time to heal. She pushed him away again but Rick felt with Roy gone, it was his job to protect her. Yes, he had done all that research to protect her but selfishly he wanted to solve the case so Kate would get on with her life. So they could start over together, build a future that Rick always assumed would include him.

He put down the glass of scotch untasted. Tears prickled his eyes but he refused to let them fall. His heart did not want to accept there would be no ALWAYS. Rick dreaded the next phone call from someone at the 12th, knowing they would be telling him that Kate was badly hurt, dying or...Rick could not finish that thought. He had begged Kate to let her mother's case go; that finding her mother's killer wasn't worth her life. He was still stunned, hurt and so angry at the questions Kate hurled at him the previous night.

"Are you part of this?" "How can I trust anything you say?"

"I was trying to keep you safe...because I love you...but then you already knew that." She was remarkable and challenging but maddening. "Four years, I have been right here waiting. If you care about me at all, please don't do this."

Kate walked away, left him. She didn't care, she had never loved him. How many times did he have to be reminded of something he already knew? With a click of the mouse the information file on the screen disappeared, it was all gone, deleted. He was done!

With a bitter laugh Rick remembered it was just a few days ago he thought that the future he wanted with her was just within his reach. Kate told him she had been seeing a therapist and felt she was almost ready. Now he wondered if he misunderstood what she meant. Maybe she was trying to tell him that she wanted to finish what she started, to find who ordered her mother's death.

Rick once thought he knew Kate Beckett, what drove her, even what she was thinking. They used to be so in sync. Lately he wondered if the extraordinary woman he created only existed in his mind. There really was no Nikki. The tough, strong, brilliant and fearless warrior goddess Rick created for his books wasn't Kate. No one, no human could live up to that standard. Maybe Kate walked away because she was just tired of trying. Maybe he forced her to go, to complete an impossible quest that would kill her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Walking to open it, he hoped that Alexis changed her mind and came home early to celebrate her graduation with him. His smile disappeared when he opened the door to find a very wet Katherine Beckett standing on his doorstep.

"What do you want, Beckett?" If he was angry and confused before she came to his door, it was nothing to his shocked reaction to her answer.

"You!" Suddenly Kate rushed forward and pulled him into a kiss.

So many emotions raced through him at light speed: anger and disbelief battled his desire for her, the hope for a life together. Happiness was stepped on by the need to hurt her, to push her away like she pushed him away. Suspicion and curiosity were nearly beaten down by his smug acknowledgement that she chose him, she couldn't live without him. Rick's ego resented that Kate could just walk in and make his heart pound in love and need, so he tried to pull away. Kate's arms remained firmly around his neck. Rick's breathing was as ragged as his emotions, so he did not dare look at her.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry, Castle." Kate repeated it over and over as she showered kisses on his shoulder, neck, ear, jaw and lips.

Rick felt himself weakening. No, she can't just expect him to forgive and forget everything that had happened. He pulled her arms from around his neck and held her at arm's length. "What happened?"

"He got away but I didn't care...I almost died but all I could think about is you. I just want you." Kate looked into his eyes for the first time and saw the pain she put there. Then she remembered the cold lifeless eyes of her assassin, Cole Maddox. Everyone she had ever cared for told to let her mom's case go but it wasn't until she looked into her killer's eyes that she knew she had to let it go or die. Kate wanted to live; she wanted a life with Rick. She was done with the past; she wanted a future with the man she loved. Now she just hoped that he would give her another chance. Kate wished she had the right words to explain but Rick was the wordsmith, so she tried to pour all her love and her need for one more chance into her eyes.

Rick finally looked into Kate's eyes and was surprised to see love and need for him. All her emotions were there, nothing held back. No more walls. Doubt and fear of being hurt again made him hesitate for just a moment but he had never been any good at say no to a woman, any woman...he knew saying no to Kate wasn't an option. He could make mental excuses all day long but the bottom line was that this is the woman he loved. He could no more push her away than he could live without her. He grabbed Kate roughly pushing her against his door, which shut with the force, as his lips crashed into her. All the emotions he felt poured into the kiss. Her lips joined into the battle for dominance until air became a necessity. Her forehead rested against his as they both gulped in air. Rick's fingers reached for the top button of her blouse, the material was wet and his hands weren't steady. He struggled not to rip the shirt off her. One by one the buttons opened until the dark pink scar was visible between her breasts.

"Kate!" Rick raised one finger to trace the mark but hesitated. Kate covered his larger hand with hers and pressed them both over the scar. Rick closed his eyes as his fingers felt the puckered skin from the bullet. He said her name again. "Kate!" It was a whisper and a prayer. He opened his eyes and saw love, trust and need in her eyes. They both leaned in to meet in a gentle kiss. Kate reached for his hand, as their fingers twined together; she led him towards his study and his bedroom just beyond it. Kate finished unbuttoning her shirt one handed as they arrived in his bedroom. Rick reached to undo the buttons at her wrists and helped her peel off the wet garment.

"Oh God, Kate." He saw bruises on her throat and arms. "What did that bastard do to you?"

"Tomorrow." Kate reached up to unbutton his shirt but Rick stopped her.

"Kate, tell me what happened!"

"Tomorrow, Rick. Please!"

Rick reluctantly nodded reaching to help her remove her pants but there were more bruises, they were everywhere.

He stepped back afraid to touch her. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I need you." He gently kissed each mark as they sat on the edge of his bed. Kneeling down, he helped remove her wet socks and shoes.

"Kate, your feet are like ice." Before she could say another word, he turned to walk away. "You need to get warm and a hot bath will help those bruises."

She heard the water being turned on but decided that a bath could wait. She walked over to him trying to look as sultry as possible. "I want you, now."

Kate thought her plan worked as Rick scooped her into his arms but he turned to walk into the bathroom, not the bedroom. "Bath now, me later."

He gently deposited her into a huge whirlpool tub that was only half full but filling rapidly. Kneeling beside the tub, Rick soaked a sponge and squeezed the hot water onto her neck, arms and back. Turning away to play with a series of buttons, the whirlpool jets sprung into life. The water felt so good but Kate had never been very good at waiting. She reached over and began to unbutton his shirt. "Kate, will you behave! You are making it dammed hard to do the right thing here."

"What happened to bad boy, Rick? Can he come out to play? We can share the tub."

"Screw it!" Rick was stripped in a flash and stepped into the tub behind her.

Kate quickly flipped over to stretch out on top of him. "Oops, I think I splashed some water on the floor."

Rick reached for a hand held remote, the water turned off and the intensity of the jets decreased. He smiled at her for the first time. "It's OK, I know the owner."

He resumed kissing her and the bruises, one by one. Rick started to reach for the sponge again but Kate straddled him and placed his hands on her breasts. Rick leaned forward to kiss her scar as he felt himself slowly enter her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Kate Beckett had dreamed of having sex with Rick much more often than she would ever admit to anyone. She imagined their first time many ways and in many places: her apartment, his loft, in a limo, even the back seat of her Crown Vic. The one place that out-numbered all her other fantasies was at the 12th precinct. Kate dreamed so many times that he would push everything off her desk, rip off all her clothes and take her again and again in front of the entire bullpen...sometimes cuffs were used. Perhaps sex with Will and Josh had tainted her expectations with all other men. With them, it had always been a battle for domination; afterwards she was sated but often sore and sometimes bruised.

Rick's hands caressed her waist and hips, careful of the large bruise on her back. He effortlessly supported her weight, allowing her time to adjust to him. Rick leaned in to kiss her; the touch was so gentle yet moved her more deeply than any man had before. Kate knew she shouldn't be surprised that he so easily let her take the lead, even in sex. It was what he did. Rick put her first but he was right behind her, always. She smiled at that word. Always, it was their word. She realized it had been his way of saying I love you before she was ready to hear it. She had hurt him, pushed him away and yes, even lied to him but just last night Rick told her that he still loved her. His courage and caring amazed her...humbled her. Kate wanted to say those three words to him but she still could not get the words out of her mouth. His lips were so warm earlier but now they felt white hot as the heat from his kisses replaced the ache of every bruise on her neck, shoulder and arms. Kate heard a soft moan of pleasure and realized it came from her. She finally understood the phrase "making love".

Kate ran her hands over his broad shoulders, muscled arms and toned chest and abdomen. He did not have washboard abs like Will or bulging biceps like Josh but he was not soft. Kate suddenly realized she had never before seen Rick without every button in place and impeccably groomed. She often teased him about his hair but she was enjoying the chance to finally run her hand through the through those thick locks and mess it up just a bit. Kate placed soft kisses on the ears she often tortured when he was being "insufferably Castle." Her lips continued the journey down his neck to his throat. She hummed in delight as she finally licked and nipped at his Adams apple, one more thing off her "to do" list. She reached his chest and tasted his nipple, smiling as he huffed out a breath. He ran his hands down both arms to capture her fingers.

Kate watched fascinated as her smaller hand almost disappeared into his much larger one. She never noticed just how big his hands were until now. Kate often pretended to be upset that Castle was constantly watching her. Secretly she enjoyed it because while he was so busy watching her, he never realized how often she looked at him, especially his eyes and hands. She had counted at least eleven different shades of blue so far. His gorgeous eyes changed when he was being silly, happy, excited, tired, confused and most recently she discovered the deep blue his eyes turned when he was angry. Kate loved to watch his hands when he made her coffee in the break room, when his finger flew over the keyboard on her computer chasing a lead, even as he played those silly games on his phone while she was buried in paperwork.

Rick brought her fingers to his lips and kissed each hand. God, when he did things like that she just melted inside. Kate felt like a teenager again, so sappy. When did she become such a sucker for romance? Her thoughts were interrupted when he spoke.

"Please tell me this is real? I've dreamed of being with you, loving you for so long, Kate."

Kate playfully nipped his bottom lip.

"Owwww!"

"Not a dream, writer man." Kate kissed him, pouring all the emotions she could not articulate into it.

Rick wanted to smile that Kate no longer called him "writer boy" but her kiss had kicked up his need several notches. Unable not to touch her any longer, the sponge Rick reached for fell from his hands. His lips nibbled down her throat, to her breast and nipple. One hand caressed her other breast, the other slipped between her legs. The feel of him deep inside her, his lips on her breast and his hand teasing her core was too much.

"Riiiccckkk!" The power of her orgasm created a roar in her ears and dimmed her vision. Kate felt weak and boneless but she did feel him come deep inside her. Her climax had triggered his. He cradled her against his chest as their breathing and heartbeats slowly returned to normal. Reaching for the remote, Rick hit the button to let the quickly cooling water drain from the tub. Helping her stand, Rick grabbed a towel and wrapped Kate in it. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her to the bedroom. She tried to protest but he silenced her with a single word.

"Please!"

Nodding Kate let him dry her off. She was so tired, relaxed and emotionally drained she could feel herself falling asleep. Even half asleep, Kate felt him massage her with something that slowly made the dull ache in her arms, neck and shoulder calm down. Rick helped her get under the covers, and then quickly dried off. He climbed in behind her and gently massaged the largest bruise on her back. She was sound asleep long before he finished. Rick wrapped himself around Kate, pulling her back against his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Rick was tired. He had not slept well for the last few nights. He could never really rest when he was worried about Alexis, his mother or Kate. Alexis has been stressing out about her speech at graduation but it was his fight with Kate made sleep or even writing impossible. His daughter's speech today had been wonderful, he knew it would be and Kate was now safe and warm resting in his arms but his mind kept going over and over what Kate said earlier. "_He got away…I almost died."_ Rick was both angry and ashamed that he deserted Kate. She asked him to be there, make sure she didn't fall down the rabbit hole of her mother's case again. He promised that he would always be there, they would work to solve the mystery; find "The Dragon" and bring him down. Then he remembered his words to her the previous night. "Yeah, you're right. It's your life and you can throw it away if you want but I'm not going to stick around and watch. It's over...I'm done." Rick once tried to step in front a bullet for her a year ago. Was he really trying to get Kate to stop working her mother's case to save her or was he really protecting himself?

Rick knew that Kate was in way too deep. He begged her not to go after the sniper who shot her, knowing only one of them would survive. He saw all the bruises on her. What did he do to Kate to put those marks all over her? She refused to tell him what happened earlier, so his writers mind filled in that blank with a long and growing list of horrifying scenarios. Whatever happened to her today; Kate chose him. She said she just wanted him…..but he didn't deserve her. He abandoned her when she needed him the most. She faced a trained killer all alone.

Rick nearly bolted up in bed. Oh God, maybe she didn't go alone. Rick was now wide awake. He knew Esposito and Ryan would never let her go alone. Were they all right? He recalled Kate's eyes were red when she arrived; it was obvious she had been crying. The rain had washed away her tears but she looked so sad. Why was she soaking wet when she arrived? His list of questions kept growing until Rick was no longer sure he wanted to hear the answers.

A flash of lightening lit the room followed by a boom of thunder. "Rick?" The woman in his arms turned towards the sound but she was too tired to open her eyes.

"I'm here, Kate. It's just the storm. You're safe. Are you warm enough?" He was stunned when Kate turned fully in his arms and cuddled into his chest, twining her legs with his. The feel of her skin against his and the sound she made, somewhere between a hummed acknowledgement and a purr; Rick felt himself get instantly hard again. He had been fighting his body's response to her earlier as he dried Kate off and put her to bed. "Oh God Kate, you are going to be the death of me." He whispered into her hair and kissed her forehead and then stretched out on his back with Kate draped all over him. Another flash of lightening brightened the room momentarily; he saw her bruises had become darker and more colorful. Every mark hit him like a whip. He didn't protect her, he failed her, this was all his fault.

Rick knew that Kate wouldn't stop; she would track down and face her assassin. He should have been there. She nearly died, AGAIN. That was twice he had nearly lost her. Rick vowed there would be no third time. He would keep her safe no matter what happened. Despite two divorces, he took his vows very seriously. He would never desert her again. If he had to, he would kidnap Kate and they would simply disappear together, out of the Dragon's reach. Rick covered Kate again with the sheet. She was safe and he would make damned sure she stayed that way. For the next few hours he alternated watching Kate sleep and viewing the storm raging outside his windows until he finally drifted into a sweet dream of happily everafter.

Rick was having a rather erotic dream about Kate, which was not all that unusual but this dream felt so real. He could almost feel her hands running through his hair and touching his face. Having gotten practically no sleep, he snuggled back into the pillow. The pillow felt wrong...and it was moving. Pulling back, he opened one eye and realized sometime in the last few hours he had exchanged positions with Kate. She was on her back and he was draped all over her, his head nestled between her breasts. He picked his head up to find Kate was smiling at him.

"Good Morning."

"Ahhh, morning?" Kate wanted to giggle; he looked totally confused, very sleepy and utterly adorable. "Are you OK? Can I get you anything?"

"I was going to get up and make some coffee for us but I had a bad case of writer on my chest."

Rick sat up and blushed. "Sorry, let me make you some coffee." He started to get out of bed and quickly realized he was naked and his blush deepened. He turned his back to Kate and tried to pull the sheet around him but it was stuck. Rick tugged on it but it was still stuck. He looked to find out what it was stuck on, only to find Kate playing tug of war with the sheet and chuckling at him.

"Well, will wonders never cease, the great Richard Castle is blushing. Trust me Ricky; you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Rick spotted the towel he'd used last night on the floor beside the bed. He grabbed it and wrapped it quickly around his waist, stood up and threw the sheet back towards Kate in triumph.

"Why thank you, Kate!" He turned to leave the room with as much dignity as he could muster. "Coffee will be ready in ten minutes, if you want to jump in for a shower. Any thoughts on breakfast?"

Getting no answer he turned back to Kate for an answer. She was undressing him with her eyes and since he was only wearing a towel...Rick felt his body responding to her smoldering look and he needed no answer to that question.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Looking at Kate, the song "Hungry Eyes" started to play in his head. Any questions Rick had about how she really felt about him and what last night meant to her were gone. He didn't want to attack Kate but he wanted her so much, he was aching with need. Rick was wide awake now, every part of him. With a grin, he took his hand off the knot in the towel around his waist, thinking that two can play this game.

Rick took three quick steps back to her, right to the bottom of the bed. He sent her a smoldering look but then bent over to retrieve her still damp pants, shirt, socks and bra. "While you shower, I'll just throw these in the laundry now, so you'll have something clean to wear later." He turned to leave and hearing her huff of frustration, his grin became an ear to ear smile. Rick heard Kate move behind him, he expected to be attacked from the rear and braced for it but she never touched him.

"Hey Stud, you forgot something!"

Trying to be nonchalant, he turned back. "Really?" His mouth went dry; Kate was kneeling in his bed gloriously naked. Dangling from her index finger was a pair of black lace panties. He swallowed and fixed his eyes on the garment, not on her. "Oh, Sorry." He wanted to sound casual but he couldn't quite pull that off. Holding out a hand, he silently asked her to hand them over, not sure he could form more words. He was stunned when Kate coyly shook her head no.

"You want 'em, you come and get them."

Rick dropped the clothes he had been holding and his towel. "No problem!" Rick was worried about all her bruises but at least they both would land on his super soft mattress. With a lunge, he tackled her as gently as possible. After a brief struggle, he grabbed the panties and threw them towards the end of the bed. "I win, now what do I get?"

"Me."

"Been there, done that." He pretended to yawn and started to move off the bed. He expected that she would use some of her kick boxing moves and flip him but as usual Kate did the unexpected, she bit him. Rick felt her teeth connect with his neck on the pulse point, it felt like electricity entering his body and the current went straight to his groin. She nibbled on him for a moment then soothed the spot with her tongue and gently blew air on it.

"Last night was all about me, Rick. You were so gentle…..it was so different...I felt wonderful." Kate gave up and just kissed him. Rick licked her lips asking wordlessly to taste her. He traced her lips, tasted her tongue and the roof of his mouth. He could taste a hint of cherry from her lip gloss but mostly she tasted like Kate, the woman he loved. Rick reluctantly ended the kiss, he was on top of her and he was too heavy but she would not let him roll them over. Kate wrapped her legs around him, wordlessly asked him to fill her. He moved to position himself and saw more bruises on her hips and abdomen, so he entered her slowly, watching to see if he was hurting her. Kate eyes closed but there was a sweet smile was on her lips. She moved her hips urging him deeper. He lifted her hips and felt himself fill her completely. He closed his eyes and held them still, wanting to burn this moment into his mind. It felt so good, Kate was so tight…and hot …and so wet. He heard a whimper from Kate. Rick opened his eyes quickly and saw Kate still smiling with her eyes closed but she was biting her bottom lips and whimpering in frustration. Rick leaned over to lick and kiss that poor abused lip of hers. He pulled almost all the way out of her and filled her again. Rick felt Kate buck her hips up to meet him.

He repeated the move many times until he heard her hiss "yes" over and over. The sound made Rick fill her faster and Kate hips rose to meet him, her hands reached for his waist and tried to pull him into her deeper and deeper. "Now, please!" Rick knew they were both very close. He reached down between them and caressed her core. Kate screamed his name with her release. That sound and the feel of her body tightening all around him triggered his own release. He filled her again and again; Rick had never come so hard or so long in his life. The strength in his arms held his weight off her but now he was so tired. Rick crashed onto the mattress on his side, pulling Kate to him as he tried not to pant. "That was …."

"Amazing." Kate's breathing quickly returned to normal but she stayed resting in his arms, enjoying his touch until she heard his stomach growl. "Someone is hungry."

Wiggling his eyebrows at her, he looked at her with a evil gleam in his eyes. "I could eat...something."

Rolling her eyes, Kate pushed him away. "Coffee now, writer man...me later." She laughed at his little boy pout but he got up and then helped her out of bed.

"Shower is all yours, towels are in the cabinet. Do you want me to borrow something for you to wear from Alexis?" He walked her to the bathroom door.

"Can I borrow a clean shirt from you?"

Nodding, he turned to open a large walk in closet door. "Borrow anything you'd like. Pancakes, Eggs or French Toast?"

Kate gave him a quick kiss and a provocative look, "Surprise me." Smiling, she sauntered into the bathroom and closed the door.

Rick was left staring at the closed door, shaking his head. "Oh yeah, I'm a dead man but what a way to go."

He walked over to gather Kate's clothes again. Rick was going to put back on the towel but pulled on a clean pair of boxers instead.

Walking through his study he glanced at the clock. He was stunned to see it was almost noon. His daughter would be home any minute from her High School Graduation allnighter. The instant that thought popped in his head, the phone on his desk rang.

"Castle!"

"Hey, Dad!"

"Alexis, how is my beautiful graduate this wonderful day."

"Are you drunk?"

"NO! I am just happy. Did you have a fun at your party?"

"Yeah, it was great but I'm exhausted. I wish I could just come home and crash."

"Why can't you?"

"Have you looked out the window, Dad? It's been raining since just after my graduation exercises yesterday. The streets look like rivers and some of the subway stations are flooded."

"Do you want me to come get you, sweetie?"

"No, I'm good."

"If you change your mind, call me."

"I was just calling so you wouldn't worry. I'll be home as soon as I can, love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Pumpkin." Rick hung up and smiled at the picture of a much younger Alexis sitting on his desk. Whistling, he almost danced through the living room. Snapping on the coffeemaker, he walked on to the laundry room.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Rick was always happy puttering around the kitchen but this morning he wanted to dance and sing as he made breakfast for two. A very special two, him and Kate; he made love with Kate Beckett. Last night had been so special because it wasn't "just sex" (but it was unbelievable sex), it was about finally sharing the most intimate parts of who he was with her. Even after four years together, Rick was still learning things about her that surprised him…Kate was a cuddler! He chuckled when he thought about it. Badass Detective Katherine Beckett liked to be held, caressed and kissed. Rick just loved to cuddle, oh hell, he loved to do anything with or for Kate but especially cuddling with her in bed. He was so happy, almost giddy and he was in love, maybe for the first time in his life.

Rick spent most of his teen years in all boy schools, military academies or prep schools. If he was brutally honest about it, what he felt for his first girlfriend, Kira Blaine, had been puppy love. Neither of them was serious enough to commit to a relationship. She wanted space and he let her go. It hurt at the time but life went on. With his first wife Meredith, it had been pure lust! She was sexy, outrageous and just wanted fun, so different from Kira. He married her because he got her pregnant. Rick would not walk away from his child, the way his father had walked away from him. His first marriage was short lived but the birth of Alexis gave him the love of his life...until now.

Rick always thought of his marriage to Gina as more a business merger. He got a talented editor, a liaison with his publisher and someone who was good at forcing him to write. He learned very quickly that she had no intention of being just a wife or mother to Alexis. Did he ever really care for her? After the divorce, they worked much better together. She came up with that whole badboy/playboy crap. It had been fun for a while but Rick was tired of that whole image but he kept playing the part. God had he really been that shallow? Why the hell would someone like Kate let him hang around her? His guilty conscious answered him, "Because you forced her to, jackass." He didn't force her last night. Rick couldn't stop smiling. She did care for him. She still hadn't said she loved him but he could wait. He danced over to grab two mugs. The pancake batter was ready, the eggs were just about done and the bacon was in the warmer. He was pouring coffee when he heard a chuckle come from behind him. Rick turned and nearly dropped the cup. Kate was standing in the doorway in nothing but one of his dress shirts. Good God, she was gorgeous! He wouldn't mind seeing her just like that every day for the rest of his life.

"God Kate, you are so beautiful…and you were beyond extraordinary." She blushed at his compliment and the reference to their earlier activities. She lifted her hand to reach for the coffee but he took her hand and kissed it. Kate had never felt this way. Sex with the other men in her life had been...uninspiring. Will usually rolled off her after he got off and went to sleep. Josh usually made sure she was satisfied but then he would clean up, get dressed and was gone. No one ever called her beautiful before or cared if she was happy. It felt so damned good just to be held; Rick held her for hours, stroking her hair and skin and kissing her.

Rick's brain /mouth filter obviously was not working well today but other parts of him were most definitely wide awake and raring to go. Giving her the cup, he turned away quickly and began putting food on a plate for her. "Toast or Pancakes?"

"Toast for now, maybe a pancake later." He watched her take a bite of the bacon and eggs. "My compliments to the chef, he looks fetching in those boxers."

Rick turned back to the stove to get his breakfast. He was so busted. Hopefully..."things"would calm down before he had to stand up to make her pancakes.

Taking pity on him Kate changed the subject. "I heard the phone ring; do you need to head out?"

"No, it was Alexis checking in. She went to a graduation party and was supposed to be home by now."

"Is everything OK?"

"She's fine but apparently it has been raining all night and everything is flooding. She is staying where she is, at least until the rain lets up a little."

"It was pouring last night when I walked here, that's why I was so wet. How did her graduation go?"

"I was so proud of her, her speech was wonderful?"

"Speech?"

"She was the class valedictorian."

"Did you tell me that? I'm sorry I forgot all about her graduation. I wanted to get Alexis something. She is wonderful, so smart and mature. You are a great dad."

"I lucked out. She has always been like that and she has grown into the most amazing young woman. Did you know she got accepted to every college she applied to? She decided to go to Columbia. At least she won't be so far away but she made me promise not to just drop in on her…at least not every day." The thought of seeing his baby girl only once or twice a month wiped some of the joy from his face.

"It will be hard for you not to have her here; you two have always been so close. Poor Rick, I've missed so much because I've been so focused on my mom's case for so long. Well no more…hey, how about that pancake? I know you have a hundred questions. Let's enjoy breakfast and we will talk after, OK?"

Rick nodded. "More coffee?" Rick poured the batter onto the griddle and then filled both cups. He returned minutes later with two plates that held three pancakes each. "OK, dig in. Maple Syrup?"

A/N Thank you to all who made this story a favorite or set up a story alert. This was going to be the last chapter but it got too long. I should have the last part done by tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Rick watched surprised but pleased when she finished her entire meal. "More?"

"Oh God no, they were just so good and I never got around to eating at all yesterday."

Rick frowned and opened his mouth to say something but shut it again. They had a lot to discuss and he did want to start off with an argument. He put the remaining batter away and collected all the dishes. Kate got up to help him wash but he pointed to the dishwasher. "Alexis has a rule, we wait for a full load. She is very eco-conscious." He poured the last of the coffee into their cups and reached for her hand to follow him into the living room. Rick put down his cup but didn't sit, he walked over to the large window on the far wall, pulling back the drapes he watched as the rain continued to pour down. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to Kate who was sitting on the couch. "OK, we found the tape from the church but had no way to find the mystery man on it that killed Orlando Costa."

"Javier tracked him down. He saw the rental company logo on the keys in his hands. GPS gave us his location."

"Kate , please me you did not go after him alone. If you were crazy enough to go after him, that Esposito and Ryan followed you as backup."

"We argued about how to go after him. Ryan wanted to go to Gates, I said no. I tried to go alone but Javier wouldn't let me." Kate could see Rick's eyes getting darker and his fists were clenched but he said nothing. "I know it was reckless and stupid and he could have been killed because of me but thank God, he wasn't."

"Kate, I understand your desire to bring the man who shot you to justice….."

"I didn't really care about Cole Maddox. I wanted to use him to find the man who hired him to kill me; the same man that sent killer after my mom and Captain Montgomery. When we got there, Esposito was ambushed from behind, then Cole came at me. We fought...no I tried to fight him but he was a trained killer and just toyed with me. He enjoyed beating me, nearly strangled me and then pushed me over the edge of the roof."

"Kate!" Rick rushed over as she started to cry. He knelt down in front of her. "I thought he would force me let go or stand there and watch until I did fall but he just walked away. He had a gun and could have shot me but I wasn't even worth him wasting another bullet. Ten stories up and he left me hanging. After a few minutes my hands and shoulders hurt so badly but all I could think about was you. I looked down and there was an alley below…I couldn't bear the thought of you finding me dead in an alley just like my mom. I called out your name, I didn't want to die before I had the chance to tell you how much I loved you." Kate stopped, looked into his eyes as she held his face in her hands. "I do love you, Rick." Kate kissed him softly but he expanded the kiss. Breathless, she pulled back from him and touched his lips with her finger letting him know there was more to the story. "I was loosing my grip when I heard your voice. You told me to hang on, that you were coming." I realize it now that it was Kevin calling out but you saved me; you gave me the strength to hold on for the extra minutes it took for them to find me and pull me back onto the roof. SWAT was there and so was Gates."

Rick got up and pulled her into his lap. "Oh God, Kate! I should have been there. I should have stopped you from going after him, made you stop investigating. This was why I was so angry at you the other night. I nearly lost you again...I can't lose you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Rick unconsciously used Kate's own words from the previous night as he held her. They stayed in each others arms kissing, touching and whispering for a long time.

When they could finally let go of each other, Kate went to take a sip of her coffee but it was ice cold. Rick laughed at the face she made and just to relieve the tension. "Want me to make more coffee or some wine, maybe?"

Kate nodded and followed him to the dining island. He poured them both a glass. "If Gates was there, I'm sensing she was not pleased."

"In a word, no…she suspended us both and she's turned Kevin into her whipping boy. Poor Esposito, this was my fault. I deserved it but he didn't. It will be a black mark on his record."

"What about you?"

"I don't care, it doesn't matter anymore. I resigned, turned in my gun, threw my badge on Gate's desk, packed up my desk and left."

It took Rick a minute to absorb that. "Why Kate, I thought the job was your life."

"It was but not anymore. I really don't know who I am anymore. My therapy with Dr. Burke has made me question so many things that made up my life until now. If I try to solve my mother's murder, I could die…others could die..."Kate looked at him…"but she will still be dead. You were right Rick, I have been chasing her killer so long; I don't know who I am without it"

"I do. You are the woman I love and we have all the time in the world to figure it out...together, Kate."

"Maybe I'm just not worth the trouble. I really don't understand how you can love me. I push people away, build walls; I have so many issues and scars. I'm too complicated."

Rick was stung by her comment but he deserved it after parading Jacinda in front of everyone. "I'm not proud of what I did, Kate. I know I hurt you. I was trying to JUST work with you and see someone else. She was lovely and fun to be with but nothing more, I just didn't care if I ever saw her again. She offered but I didn't sleep with her. I tried to stop loving you but I can't, Kate, I can't. I want …no; I need you in my life. I want to be with you, take care of you, Kate, make you happy. You don't eat or sleep enough and work way too hard. If you give me a chance, give us a chance, I think we can make each other happy. Let all the bad stuff be part of the past. We can't change it but maybe we can learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes. Today is a new beginning, no more secrets, walls or lies between us for any reason. I do understand what you are feeling right now. I'm not sure who I am now that Alexis is going to college and will be out on her own. She doesn't need me anymore. Maybe together we can figure out who we are now and find a future for both of us."

"Rick Castle, did you just propose to me?"

"Trust me Kate, when we are both ready and I do propose, you'll know it."

"I'll be looking forward to that day, Rick. Since Alexis won't be home for a while, I could really use another soak in your tub. That is, if you will be my lifeguard."

"Always Kate, Always."

EPILOGUE

Rick watched with pleasure as Kate cuddled into him. It took all his strength not to kiss her awake and make love with her again. Being with her was like a drug and he was addicted. A sound or maybe the lack of sound pulled his focus from her. Looking out his window, he confirmed it had finally stopped raining. Thank God, the storm had passed. Somehow they both survived this storm but Rick knew Kate was still in danger. Cole Maddox had stolen Captain Montgomery's files looking for his blackmail file on "The Dragon". Rick knew who had them. Kate had stopped looking for her mother's killer and should be safe...at least for now. He also knew it was just a matter of time until Maddox located the mysterious Mr. Smith. He wanted to warn the man but had no way to reach him.

Smiling down at Kate, he covered her. She may have resigned but Rick did not think the NYPD would let her go so easily. If she did decide to go back, he just hoped that Gates or whoever her new boss was, would let him stay with her. Right now Kate was more concerned about the fight between Esposito and Ryan. She wanted to help her friends and partners to "make up". They were fighting because each man tried to help her go after Cole Maddox in their own way. Esposito was suspended and Ryan was in the doghouse for helping her.

Rick wanted to give Kevin Ryan a gift, anything he wanted for saving Kate's life. What the hell was the point of being a millionaire if you don't use the money. Best of all, Kate had agreed to spend some time with him in the Hamptons. Maybe he could invite Kevin and his bride, Jenny for the weekend and discover what he really wanted or needed. A house maybe? Perhaps Kate could invite Javier…and Lanie, everyone knew the two of them belonged together. Rick wanted all the people he cared for to be as happy as he was with Kate.

Glancing at the clock, it was nearly 6PM and Alexis would be home soon. He eased away from her, kissing Kate gently on the cheek. Rick watched her snuggle into his pillow. Finally able to pull himself away from watching her, he took a quick shower, dressed and ordered his daughter's favorite pizza. Returning to the bedroom, Rick left Kate's clean, dried clothes at the bottom of the bed, as he waited for dinner and his daughter. He wanted to talk to Alexis about what had happened between him and Kate. He hoped she would understand, come to accept the changes and be happy for him…for them both.

A/N For some reason the Epilogue did not transfer with Chapter Six. I did not catch the mistake until this morning. I did a happy dance when I heard there would be a season five. I am looking forward to all the possible stories as they battle "the Dragon". Thanks again to all of you who made this a favorite or left a review.


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